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| Photographed By Ellinor Forje |
“Liya did a great job. I met her in the ’90s at a party at Iman’s apartment in New York. I was at the height of my career, she was just starting out. She kept looking at me, then finally introduced herself,” said Waris Dirie.
Less than a decade later, Liya Kebede would become a supermodel in her own right and portray Dirie on screen. As Dirie notes, “Liya did a great job.” Beyond her uncanny suitability for the role, one can’t help but wonder who else passed through that room.
“Desert Flower” (2009) is based on Dirie’s autobiography. Elton John acquired the rights soon after its 1997 publication, but creative differences led Dirie to collaborate instead with Peter Herrmann. The film traces her flight from an arranged marriage across the Somali desert to England, where, after years of hardship, she builds a life in London and a career that carries her between Paris, Milan, and New York. The trajectory suggests glamour, the past refuses to recede.
Deeply involved in the production, Dirie said, “I was shocked. I burst into tears the first time I saw it. It’s very hard to watch your own life on film.” The film is difficult, the book more so. Both are worth confronting.
The impact of these issues can surface in unexpected ways. Years ago in Boston, after a George Michael concert, I noticed a man wearing a T-shirt that read, “Stop Male Genital Mutilation.” Curious, I circled back, subtly, to read the front. It said, “If it’s not okay for girls, it’s not okay for boys.” He then proceeded, much to my poor ears, to prophesy his love for uncircumcised men.
We spoke. He was upset about being circumcised as a child against will, convinced that if there were movements advocating for women, there should be equivalent ones for men. His grievances spiraled, across cultures, religions, history, even the cosmetic industry.
“Cosmetics, lipstick?” I asked.
“No, anti-aging creams. They contain baby foreskin. Estee Lauder and others,” he said.
Despite the scattershot blame, I listened without prejudice.
But the equivalence doesn’t hold. The procedures are not comparable. Female genital mutilation is about control over bodies, and autonomy. As Dirie explains, “FGM is a crime against women. It destroys female sexuality and self-determination.” The harm is profound, and the silencing absolute, echoing Yeats’s line: “The falcon cannot hear the falconer.”
The fact that this is still going on is mind boggling.
ReplyDeleteMale circumcision is nothing like FGM. Sure. LOL:
ReplyDelete**NSFL**: Warning! Extremely graphic video of African male genital mutilation being performed on unconsenting young boys:
http://youtu.be/WPthgNqG1YY?t=2m20s
**NSFL**: Warning! Horrific photo collection from a Dutch doctor of hundreds of mutilated, amputated and seriously infected penises (many with gangrene) of African boys and men as a result of "male circumcision" - ie: sexual abuse and genital mutilation. This is just one, tiny area of Africa - where MGM is widespread. Most of these men will have their penis amputated; and many will die or commit suicide:
http://www.ulwaluko.co.za/Photos.html
From page 52 of Waris Dirie’s book, Desert Dawn, about her son:
ReplyDelete“We had Aleeke circumcised in the hospital a day after he was born. This is very different from female genital mutilation; that should never even be called circumcision – it’s not. In males it’s done for medical reasons – to ensure cleanliness. I could hear Aleeke crying when they did it but he stopped as soon as I held him. Despite my strong feelings about FGM, I knew it was the right thing to do. My son has a beautiful penis. It looks so good and so clean. The other day he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I said, ‘You can do that alone, you are a big boy now,’ but he wanted me to come and see him. His little penis was sticking up straight and clean. It was lovely to look at!”
Why is there no birth control pill for men (one was developed but men refused to take them), but we have Viagra? Maybe some of the procedures performed on men are botchered, just like doctors have been known to amputate the wrong foot of a person. Your argument is not valid however. If male circumcision was to the general detriment of men, the practice would have ended a long time ago. FGM is performed to render women numb of sexual desire. That is the only reason why it exists.
DeleteBe specific when you write about Africa, it's not a country but a continent. And male circumcision is widely carried out in many countries in Africa, just like many men in the Unites States are circumcised every year. In many countries of Europe where male circumcision is not the common practice, parents can request the doctors at the hospital to perform the procedure on their newborn boys. So please, it's not n African problem nor should it be equated to FGM which is banned in any civilised society.
DeleteBesides, if male circumcision was to the general detriment of the male species or threathened their manhood vis a vis women in any way, men from all socities, race and religions would have held a convention in a cave somewhere to make sure the practice came to a quickhalt. And it would have been enforced in the most brutal manner even if they had to resurrect the Fuhrer himself to carry out the deed. Let's not even go there
And if male circumcision is being carried out in places for other reasons that involves hygien or health or personal choice, then of course that practice should be outlawed, too. But again it's important to distinguish between FGM and MGM.
DeleteWhat a revolting statement in the book. The reason there is "FGM" is because there is "GM". "F" is simply one kind of person it is done to -- the kind the public cares about. "M" GM is done for exactly the same reasons and has no inherent health benefits. But she reveals the real reason she cut her baby: "It looks so good" "His little penis was sticking up straight" "It was lovely to look at" "My son has a beautiful penis".
DeleteAs a mother, she thought it was appropriate to have an opinion about the look of her baby's penis. And then she decided to have it cut.
She shouldn't be raising a dog, much less a human.
Really, so there's an agenda against men geared at turning them into eunuchs and castrati, this in Africa, the Americas, Asia and Europe? So all along women have been fighting the wrong war, we thought that it was our sexuality men were trying to control when they have actually spent thousands of years attempting to curb their own.
DeleteWe can argue why male circumcision exists, but it should be picthed against the socities that do or don't and whether there's actually a need for it.
Misconceptions about circumcision abound. It is an ancient cultural practice that has survived into modern times for a variety of reasons. The article below addresses some of the beliefs currently held by African women:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/04/female-genital-mutilation-cutting-anthropologist/389640/